Today I did something I've never done before. We packed up the kids and headed out in the light rain for some much needed fresh air and our first run/walk of the year. To say we are desperate for sunshine and to be outside is an understatement.
I am not a runner by the traditional definition, I don't compete in races, I simply compete against myself and how I feel by the end of my run. Last fall I decided it was time to set aside all of my excuses and reasons why my personal workout routine was non existent. During college, exercising and taking different fitness classes was something I couldn't wait to incorporate into my life as formal athletics were not for an insecure and non competitive girl like me. Before long I had found a way to be fit and enjoy myself in the process.
I never expected for this physical outlet to be a source of mental peace. I would find myself zoned out, my body spinning on a bike or running on a treadmill while my mind processed all of my thoughts, ideas, worries, dreams and speculation of what was to be found in my future. This almost daily routine became a big part of my life as it proved to be a source of balance in my busy student life.
As my body has changed, made room for, and created our 3 beautiful little sleep assassins, with each one it has taken longer to get back into a good workout groove. This last pregnancy left me feeling depleted, depressed and physically unable to commit to anything worthy of exercise for a long, long time. When your body takes nine moths off in order to exist physically and keep the older two alive I realized a harsh reality-- my first day back would be my worst day.
I am grateful for an encouraging husband that has loved me and my physical weaknesses. He has endured my super slow trot in comparison to his stallion like form and running ease as he's a retired cross country runner. To begin exercising again has been a trial of not just physical endurance but an opportunity to face my insecurities head on and move forward.
I would love to report that by some fitness miracle all my left over baby sludge has disappeared. I have more to improve on, more strength to build. It's not about being thin or have a body to share via social media. You won't ever see that kind of a post--my body is mine. I want to be strong so that come what may in motherhood, I can find myself with clarity, peace and physical strength.
So if you are reading this and feeling defeated and doubting if you could find your strength--it's completely possible. To all of you tired mamma's you will one of these nights start to get your sleep back and with it the confidence to begin. If you are a hustling lady boss entrepreneur growing her business, carve some time out for yourself. Your body mind and business will thrive--I promise!
Don't be afraid to feel the struggle those first few days and weeks. Revel in the fact that your body can do hard things and let it propel you forward.
Feel free to comment below and share your struggles as well as small but significant victories.
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